Not So Harmless
by sara t. fontanini
Summary: Zim has grown fed up with his constant failures and, after the Tallests reveal the truth of his 'mission' to him, decides to end things once and for all and conquer the miserable dirtball. However, his base has blown up with him inside...
1. Chapter 1

Not so Harmless

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by Sara T. Fontanini

Chapter 1: The End

Zim stood, waiting. He gazed up at the sun, frowning boredly. No, not boredom. Determination. No matter what, today is the day he would finish things.

He will conquer this world, and return home victorious. But first, there is one last thing he must do before he could begin his campaign of conquest.

"ZIM!"

The invader looked towards hr speaker. He glared contemptuously.

"Dib." The Irken spat.

"I got you message." Dib replied, holding up a pink note. "Seriously, what the hell? Pink? I never think you'd sink so low."

"SILENCE, EARTH MONKEY! I, ZIM, DO NOT NEED TO WASTE ALL MY RESOURCES IN DEALING WITH YOU! Besides, that colour is a declaration of war!"

"But...we've kinda been at war with each other for a while..." The human boy pointed out.

"FOOL! I didn't expect you to understand my superior, Irken logic! That document is the document of your doom! The colour it is in is the colour of your doom! And that colour is...PINK!"

"Zim...you're making less sense than usual."

"THIS IS WHERE IT WILL END! TODAY IS THE DAY I FINISH YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL! AND ONCE THAT HAPPENS, I, ZIM, SHALL RULE THIS PLANET!"

Dib glared, finally understanding. "Not on my watch you don't."

The young boy charged at the Invader, fists raised. And as he got close, he decked Zim directly to his green face. The Irken was driven back by the force of teh blow and fell to the ground. Zim shakily got up and wiped a small trickle of blood from his mouth. He roared loudly as he leapt at Dib and pushed him to the ground, wailing on the young man's abnormally large head. Shortly, Zim resorted to using his sharp claws to scratch at the human's face.

Dib glared defiantly, and picked up a nearby metal pipe, though why it was there he did not know, or care. Without any hesitation he struck the Irken with the weapon and got up to wail on him as the Irken had before, except with a lead pipe instead of bare fists.

Gir had arrived by that point and picked up his beaten master, whow as bleeding heavily. Dib glared.

"Get out of my sight Zim. This is the last chance I'm giving you: give up now, or I really will end this. And if you force me to act, I won't stop, not until I know you and your invasion is done with."

The boy walked away as Gir carried Zim back to their base, their home.

The resist watched on the large video monitor in their bridge, having received a signal from their mysterious sponsor.

"So, are you sure of the...authentic...ness...of the data you sent?" The resist leader asked, trying to sound dramatic.

The shadowed figure on the other end. Y'know, its kinda annoying to not a persons face, from the other side. "It's legit. And don't worry, I ahve just as much riding on this as you do. I would make no mistakes or take no chances."

"Will you at least let us know your name? I mean, you helped us, hell, even allowed us to form our group, but I think its time you trusted us and told us your name at least."

"I'm afraid not. My identity, including my name, must remain strictly confidential. But I suppose you need to call me something so why not go with...Chessmaster?"

The Resisty nodded in agreement, their leader not once looking away from the monitor. "Very well then, though I don't know what it means."

"Reference to a game played on an inconsequential planetoid you need not be concerned with. All you need to worry about is the data you received, and your role in the plan. I trust you will not fail."

"Of course not."

"Excellent. Then I will see you then."

The transmission cut off. The leader grinned and then he and his band of freedom fighters/insurgents whooped and cheered excitedly.

Soon, they would be to defeat the Irken Armada once and for all! They would be heroes!

Elsewhere, The "Chessmaster" smirked to himself.

It was time to see the game through to its conclusion.

Zim sat in the large complex hidden beneath his house, staring into a computer screen.

Three (Irken) years had passed, and he was no closer to fulfilling his goal. In fact, he had not made any headway towards conquering the planet in the name of the Irken Empire AT ALL. He was starting to doubt he ever would.

And then...there was the message.

It seemed that the Tallests had grown tired of the joke and had finally seen fit to tell him the punchline. All these years, his many efforts to conquer and enslave the planet, to defeat the Dib, to fulfil his duty and honour as a mighty Irken Invader...and it was all a JOKE, a SCAM to get Zim to leave them.

What was the point of it all, if his Tallests didn't care about his mission, worse, about HIM? What reason did he have to continue?

He glared at the video file, on constant loop, reminding him of his FOOLISHNESS, his STOOPIDITY. He was nothing to them, nothing but a joke, a toy, something to played with and laughed at. And for THREE WHOLE YEARS, he ahd been unaware.

Well, no matter. He;d show them, all of them! The Tallests! Dib! The pathetic HOOMANS! That creepy dog thing he would occasionally see! Yes, even that tiny moose! ALL WOULD PAY FOR TEHIR TRANSGRESSIONS AND BOW TO ZIM! EVEN THE ALMIGHTY TALLESTS!

HE NO LONGER CARED! WHY SHOULD HE! THEY NEVER DID! HE WILL CRUSH THEM ALL! FIRST EARTH AND THE HUMANS, AND THEN HE WOULD FLY RIGHT BACK TO IRK, TAKE DOWN THE ENTIRE ARMADA, AND EVEN DESTROY THE NOT-SO-ALMIGHTY TALLESTS! NOTHING COULD STAND UP TO HIM, FOR HE IS ZIM!

He grinned, fired up and raring to go, ready to begin his final mission...but first he would do something about that incessant beeping.

What was causing that anyway? Where was it coming from? It sounded vaguely familiar...

And it was around at that point that the bomb went off and blew up the entire base complex, with him inside, leaving nothing but a huge crater in the ground where his house used to stand.

Tak howled in frustration and anger. She had finally managed to return to Irk and get herself the position of Invader (again...) after her disgrace at the hands of Zim. She was getting ready to go to Earth and begin her new plan for revenge...when...

She couldn't believe it! She was supposed to defeat Zim, to make him pay, to finally get her revenge! But what happened? He got blown up! How the hell did that happen!

She was so pissed. Her revenge would go unfulfilled, and she wouldn't be able to prove herself. And it was all because that IDIOT couldn't keep himself from getting BLOWN UP!

She slammed her head against the nearby wall in rage, and opened her eyes, turning as someone approached, lifting up a small laser pistol to the approacher.

"Hello." Invader Skoodge said cheerfully.

Tak glared at the little, rotund irken. "Skoodge. I have no time to deal with a loser like you, not when I have my own problems to deal with. In fact, I'd rather not deal with you at all, even if I wasn't currently dealing with my own crisis. So, to be frank, CLEAR OFF!" She turned away and began to walk off.

Skoodge tutted, shaking his head. "Oh no, Tak, I afraid I can't let you go. After all, I have a...pressing need for your...assistance. A very pressing need indeed."

"You're talking very unusual." Tak noted, looking over and mentally noted Skoodge's change of...stature, would be the close enough term. "I don't have time to deal with a sub-par invader such as yourself." She turned away huffily.

Skoodge frowned, glaring icily. "Sub-par? You forget who you are addressing, young Invader. I single-handedly conquered the home palnet of the Ravenous Rat People. I was the first Irken to conquer a planet during operation Impeding Doom II and I was a hero...until the TALLESTS decided it would eb best to retract my success and LAUNCH ME INTO THE PLANET LIKE A MISSILE! AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU DISMISS ME! NOT A MERE PAWN LIKE YOU!"

He charged at ehr and stung a small device into her neck. Tak looked back in confusion as she feel to ground, unconscious. Skoodge smirked to himself.

"Excellent. Everything is proceeding as scheduled. It may take some convincing, but it won't be too difficult. Yes, Tak will make an excellent partner. Soon, the game shall be mine."

He grinned, absently spinning a small game piece in his gloved talons.

Upon closer inspection, it looked to be...a chess piece. The queen, to be exact.

**To be Continued**

_Hey hey howdy! Yes, I have started yet another new fic, though hopefully my updates won't be as...intermittent as some of my...other works..._

_Really, this is my attempt at creating a satisfying, definitive conclusion to Invader Zim. Y'know, what with the rather sudden cancellation and all, and the likelihood of it being renewed...increasingly unlikely, at the very least._

_Also, I wanted to created something epic and serious within the Zim chronology, but still make it seem at least possible that it COULD, perhaps, take place in-canon._

_I apologise for the shortness of this chapter, butits more to set up what will happen than anything else. Also, I apologise if I got any information regarding the characters wrong, especially their characterisations and their names._

_I also don't know the names of the resist members, hence why referred to one of them only as the leader, so if anyone could share that information with me, that would be appreciated._

_I had intended to make the fight between Zim and Dib longer and more epic, considering its supposed to be their last fight and everything, but what more can ya do with it to be honest?_

_You are probably wondering two things: is Zim dead, and what is up with Skoodge? Well, those questions shall be answered in the fic, but do please do some Wild Mass Guessing in anticipation._

_Also, I would like someone to make some nice covers for each chapter, to be distributed on deviantART or something. Something dark and...Impressionistic, please. And if someone is willing to make the covers, I want them to feature a major event within the chapter they represent (for example, zim's house exploding for this chapter). Of course, this is just a simple request to make this better, but I would love to see it happen._

_Or I could try and do the covers myself...though I am not good at drawing..._

_Anyway, I apologise for rambling on like that. I hope you enjoyed this little teaser and hope you look forward to more._

_And please comment!_


	2. Chapter 2

Not So Harmless

Chapter 2: The Chessmaster, The Survivor and The Traitor

Tak awoke groggily, her head spinning, her eyes blurry. She blinked a few times to clear her sight. From the way it looked, she appeared to be in some kind of old, abandoned maintenance room. She struggled to get up, but found that she was bound, her movement restricted.

"I trust you are comfortable?"

Tak looked up, and saw Skoodge standing over her, smirking smugly.

"I DEMAND TO KNOW THE MEANING FOR THIS OUTRAGE!' Tak roared loudly.

Skoodge shook his head, tutting disapprovingly. "Demand? You DEMAND? You are in no position to be making demands of any sort, Invader Tak. However, I will oblidge, for that is the polite thing to do."

Tak growled, scowling irritably.

"A long time ago," Skoodge began, ignoring the other Invader, "our race, the mighty Irken empire, had set forth to explore the universe and, eventually, rule over it with an iron fist. To ensure their success, they began experiments with our genetic structure, to make our species better, stronger, faster, smarter...to make us the ultimate form of life.  
However, a...mutation occurred in our species. A first, it was only a small percentage, hardly noticeable. Then...it grew, and turned into an infection, and then a plague...and then an epidemic. Our species was no longer able to reproduce under its own power. And so, our ancestors created machines to clone us from genetic samples, so that our species wouldn't die out.  
The machines soon took over our lives, becoming a part of every facet of our lives...especially that of the...martial nature.  
Eventually, the machoens decided that members of our own race should govern our collecteive decisions, and basically rule over us. And eventually, a system was made to select our leaders.  
and that was how the Tallests came into power. Their first act was to remove the AI in the main machines, leaving only a few, choice samples left to help the invasion plan.  
As the years went by, our people became increasingly dependent on the Tallests to offer guidance and government, and the succeeding Tallests became increasingly lazy, corrupt, foolish...and wasteful. Which brings us to our current standing."

"But why did you knock me out and bind me like this!" Tak yelled out.

"I suppose I should get to the point then...the point of my little...verbal meandering over our empire's past is this...The Tallests have failed in their duties, their responsibilities, and thus, they need to be removed. And so, I shall eliminate them, and take over as supreme overlord of our people."

Tak stared at him, dumbfounded. Such a claim...he could not be serious...but she could see in his eyes, his smug smirk and his tone of voice...that he was.

"YOU'RE MAD!" The female Invader shouted incredulously. "THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD PLOT TO DO SUCH A THING!"

Skoodge grinned menacingly. "I assure you, I am quite sane. And that is why I had to knock you out and restrain you. If I did not, I was afraid you would do something...regrettable. You see Tak, unlike the machines, the Tallests and everyone else, I see...something in you, a fire, a sort of will...something...promising."

"What do you mean?" she glared suspiciously.

"I want you to join me Tak. Join me in changing the world, no...the very universe itself."

"And why should I be a part of your madness!"

He chuckled softly. "Because, my dear, dear Tak, I will give you a chance to be something better than an Invader, a pawn...I will make you into...A Knight. Well that AND I strapped a bomb to your neck if you refuse me."

Zim coughed, blood spurting from his lips. His eyesight was fuzzy, he could barely make out anything...and the fact it was almost pitch dark did not help at all.

"G...Gir...?" he called out weakly. "W...Where are you...Gir? Computer...? A...Anyone...? I...I appear to be...injured...I...I...I'm scared..."

He never admitted to feeling fear before, and he idly worried about that admission. He coughed again, his hand moving to his stomach. He froze, and looked down, his eyes widening, his face pale. A large...something...had impaled through his torso, and blood was pouring from it.

He wondered if this was how it was to end for him...cold...alone...with no grand final battle or fanfare...just the darkness...and the pain.

He scowled. No WAY would he let that happen! He was an Invader, an Irken! He was ZIM! Did he give up when Dib figured out his weakness to that horrid liquid? NO! Did he give up on Hobo 13? NO! Did he give up when he had been imprisoned in the shopping mall and had to fight zombires and a lone man! NO! And did he give up Gir went crazy and stuff! ABSOLUETLY NOT!

HE WAS ZIM! No force could stop, derail, hinder or otherwise put him out of commission! And he would be DAMNED if he let some puny EXPLOSION and a measly OBJECT IMPALED THROUGH HIS STOMACH put an end to him!

He crawled himself along, his legs having been broken somehow. He dragged his body along the ground, his lips twitching in pain, the object shaking slightly, making a stinging pain in his squidily spooch. He gritted his teeth and perservered, not caring about the pain, or how much blood left his body. He would survive this, and destroy whoever was responsible! FOR HE WAS ZIM!

He stopped when he came across a wall. Upon inspection, their appeared to be no exit, but since he was most likely beneath his base (judging by his last location prior to being explodified) he surmised that if he just kept climbing up, he would reach the top and be able to find his way to the labs where he would be able to have his many, many injuries looked over.

And so, he did the only reasonable thing he could come up with and dug his figners into the hard earth and climbed up, trying to gently rest his body so the thing didn't pierce further into his body, his legs dangling uselessly.

His fingers started to hurt, but he kept climbing anyway, but used his teeth to at least ease the pain somewhat and help his progress a little.

And so, he continued to climb, powered only by his pride and force of will.

Dib stared. He just...it boggled the mind.

Zim's house, or in actual reality his base, was...gone. Completely demolished by an explosion so big, it left charred marks on the neighbouring houses on either side of it. All that remained of it was useless rubble.

Police surrounded the building, telling many curious onlookers to back off and leave it to professionals. Dib was shooed by one of them. And he numbly complied.

His brain just wasn't in the right state to argue. The...The unthinkable had happened.

Zim was dead...and he had nothing to do with it.

Normally, no matter the circumstance, if it involved Zim's destruction, then he would be jumping for joy and triumph, however, something had struck him upon seeing the blackened remains of what had been Zim's base of operations.

What was he going to do now? Without Zim to battle and thwart, what was he going to do with his life now?

The Tallestsstood, staring, dumbfounded.

They couldn't believe it. Zim...was dead.

Radz ( the red Tallest) shook slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching. Pa'apps just stood, mouth hanging open.

And then Radz started chuckling, and then moved onto a roaring, surprised, shocked, but ultimately joyful laughter. He took his fellow Tallest's hand and forced him into a joyous, celebratory dance. As they danced, laughing, grinning widely, all their surrounding Invaders and technicians and many other Irkens who weren't in the room but had heard the news, cheered at the top of their lungs.

Zim was dead! Zim was FINALLY dead! Long may he remain so!

"YOU killed HIM!"

Tak was snarling, enrgaedm holding Skoodge up by the scruff, who had released ehr from her bonds.

Skoodge smirked. "But I thought you would be pleased. After all, you wanted him dead as much as anyone."

"BUT HE WAS MINE! ONLY MUST AVENGE MYSELF UPON HIM! NOONE ELSE!"

"I was not doing you a favour." The smaller Invader replied. "he was merely a pawn who had outlived his purpose, and so he was eliminated before he became a problem."

"What?" Tak replied in disbelief. "What do you mean by that? What is that word you keep using? 'Prawn'?"

"Pawn." Skoodge replied in exasperation and pushed her hands away, falling gently to his feet onto the ground. "It is an earth term derived from a locally made game known as 'Chess'. And as for what a pawn IS...it is you. It is me. It is every Invader who serves the 'Almighty Tallests' loyally. Numerous. Easy to control. Manoeuvrable. And most importantly...disposable. And that is how the Tallests see us...things to be used and thrown away at a moment's notice."

"We...we are Invaders! We...We serve the Tallests! It is what we are born for!"

"And who do the Tallests serve!" Skoodge spat. "Us? NO! Themselves! They care only for their own comfort and self worth, and nothing for us, those who they were chosen to govern over! As long as they rule the universe, and have their petty snacks, they don't care one bit what happens to the rest of us!"

"And your way is better!" Tak spat back. "The Tallests guide us, give us purpose! Sure, it's not exactly very comfortable under their command, but it's better than nothing!"

Skoodge frowned. "If we continue to let them choose our fates, then we as a species shall not evolve. And let me tell you, I do not want that. But you know what; it doesn't matter if you agree with me." He held up a small device with a rather conspicuous large red button on the top. "You will do as I request, if you desire to live."

Tak growled, but made no further response or movement.

"Excellent." Skooge smiled and put the device away. "I assure you will not regret your choice. Now then, let us move on with our preparations." He turned away and calmly walked away. "Come along Tak, I have a mission for you.

Tak followed him, growling under her breath.

The Resisty looked at the package they had been handed. "Are you sure this will really help us?" The leader remarked curiously.

Tak nodded, her face obscured by all encompassing mask, a head over her head and a cloak covered her body. Fingerless gloves covered her hands and large boots were over her feet. "It will work, and give you a significant advantage over the Armada."

Resisty grinned, cheering and congratulating each other as tak turned away and walked over to her ship.

"And your friend? Chessmaster?" The leader called out to her. "Why couldn't he come?"

"He had other matters to attend to." Tak answered and jumped into her ship, hastily taking off. She did not want to spend a further moment with this cretins.

The Resisty stared after and shrugged. She could slap them in the face and fart in their faces, they would just accept it. Especially if it meant a decisive advantage over the Irken Armada.

The Tallests were sitting at the main bridge of the head ship of the Armada, sipping on milkshakes (or at least the Irken equivalent) Suddenly, klaxons blared and sirens wailed and all manner of other loud noises made themselves apparent.

"What's going on?" Pa'apps asked, startled, spilling his drink.

Radz got up and looked up at the large monitor in the front of the bridge. A large vessel rapidly approached them. "The Resisty." He glared at the image, his mouth firmly closed in determination and hatred. "Prepare all stations! We're going to war."

"Yes, my Tallest!"

"Are you sure?" Pa'apps asked him nervously.

"They have proven themselves to be a problem. A problem we need to resolve."

Pa'apps looked over at the monitor, and gulped.

Tak stared, stationed quite comfortably on a remote location on Irk, watching several monitors showcasing the battle about to take place. Skoodge smiled at her from one of them, having snuck himself onboard one of the Armada vessels.

"Now Tak, you shall bear witness to the coming of a glorious new age!" he proclaimed grandly, and his image disappeared.

Tak frowned irritably, angry at herself for betraying her Tallests like this. However, she could not sacrifice her live. Besides, what Skoodge said got to her.

He was wrong, he had to be.

_Hey everyone! Sara here with a new chapter for Not So Harmless! Are you enjoying it! I hope you are!_

_Some of you may be shocked at this development with Skoodge. I'm a bit worried that people will accuse me of character derailment or not doing the research, but this is my fic and this is what I'm doing with it. So nyah :P._

_I'm worried about how I've written Tak. Does she seem like the way she would normally act, or did I just get her character totally wrong?_

_And now we know how Zim has fared after being exploded! I know a lot of people were expecting him to survive, but were they expecting the extent of his surivival? I hope you enjoyed this brief snippet of his circumstances._

_And yes I gave the Tallests names. I just thought their names wouldn't ACTUALLY be Red and Purple, that'd be silly. You can probably guess which is which. I hope I haven't pissed anyone off or gone against canon..._

_On that note, I'd like to give some clarification. This is my attempt on trying to do a serious, somewhat dark story hoping to give closure to the series in the wake of its cancellation. This story is SUPPOSED to be largely canonical, or at least in keeping with what ahs been established in the series. I am NOT familiar with any plot threads that were not introduced in the actual series proper, and so anything like will not be included. If their is anything missing, or anything I got wrong, or if I am succeeding at all with this at all, please let me know._

_Next time, we shall have the epic battle between the Resisty and the Armada!_

_I hope you enjoyed and I ask that you please comment, or I will be very sad! _


	3. Chapter 3

Not So Harmless

Chapter 3: Curb Stomp Battle

The Resisty's leader eyed his opponents carefully. The entire Irken Armada, over 67 battleships and over a million Voot Cruisers. Quite large odds were stacked against them.

However, they had something to even the odds.

The Resisty grinned collectively and activated one of the many 'gifts' Chessmaster had given them.

Radz stared unflinchingly as the Resisty suddenly vanished without a trace before their eyes, a thoughtful look upon his features.

"Um...W...where's they go?" Pa'apps wondered aloud. "Did..did we get 'em?"

Radz glared momentarily at his fellow Tallest. "We have yet to even fire a single salvo upon them, you idiot! No, I am familiar with this...but...this is impossible...Only WE should have that technology, and it is still in the developmental phase...how could they have...?"

Suddenly a massive vibration shook through the ship, causing Radz and several other Irkens to lose their balance. Radz scowled, gritting his teeth.

"Wh-what happened?" Pa'apps asked, clearly shaken.

"They attacked us." Radz said, annoyed. "They somehow got their hands on our teleportation technology, which by the way we have yet to complete even after a year in development, and appeared at one of our weakest points and hit us with all they got. DAMAGE REPORT!"

An image flashed on screen, showing a schematic of the Armada. "One of our battleships is highly damaged, and around 100 Voot Cruisers have been decommissioned." An Irken technician read out.

Radz looked thoughtful once more. "Which battleship was it?"

"Number 25, My Tallest."

Radz nodded. "Which makes it around...400 feet away from us. Whatever firepower they have, it is very powerful. We mustn't assume that's all they have. They wouldn't attack the Armada if that was so. All hands keep a close eye on their movements."

Suddenly, several more vibrations were felt, one after the other, each increasing in intensity.

"H-how many w-was th-that?" Pa'apps asked shakingly.

"300,000 Voot Cruisers and 12...no 20..." another three vibrations were felt. "No, 30 batlleships hit!" The technician was started to sound slightly panicked.

"Doesn't matter." Radz said calmly. "Doesn't matter how many soldiers and cruisers and even battleships we lose. All that matters is that we, the Almighty Tallests, get out of this in piece." He stood up suddenly. "Order all remaining forces to surround us! They will act as a shield. I know for a fact that they won't be able to get through, so they'll have to blast their way in. However, we won't give them the chance."

"What do you mean sir?" The technician asked.

"Just follow your orders like a good Irken." Radz demanded dismissively. "Send the order."

"Yes, My Tallest."

Soon, the order was passed along, and the remaining battleships and Voot Cruisers surrounded the flagship. Radz smirked, his fingers steepled before his face, smirking.

"They'll be appearing any minute...NOW!"

As he said that, the Resisty ship appeared, streaming towards them.

"Now, when they're close enough, order all ships to self destruct!"

"But sir! There isn't enough time to evacuate ever ship!"

Radz snarled and lifted the technician up threatengingly. "YOU WILL DO AS I ORDERED, IRKEN! NOW SEND THE ORDER!"

The technician nodded. "Yes, My Tallest." He said deflatedly and turned to the console. "All forces, activate self destruct. I repeat, activate self destruct."

There was a brief silence as everyone stood, waiting, as the Resisity ship got close and prepared to unleash its weapons.

And then, all the ships that were acting as a shield, exploded.

Radz whooped loudly, slamming his fists onto a console, sneering at the image on the screens. "YES! That'll take care of those bothersome pests!"

Suddenly,the image changed as the Resisty ship appeared directly in front, so close Radz could touch it. Radz was startled and flinched back.

"N-No! I-Impossible! Th-there's no way! They...They couldn't have teleported fast enough!"

Suddenly, the resist ship unloaded a barrage of missiles, striking the flagship's hull and then striking with several energy cannons. Alarms sounded and a red light flashed annoyingly.

Radz stared, uncomprehending. "This...this isn't happening...there's no way...how...?"

Suddenly, the alarms stopped and a single image appeared on all screens...Skoodge.

"Greeting, 'My Tallests'." The Invader greeted. "It would seem that despite your best strategems, you have failed. Too bad."

"Skoodge..." Radz growled out. "How have you intercepted this channel! Only members of the Armada can communicate through this channel!"

"AH, yes, channel V-17-Kaleeda." Skoodge chuckeld. "Well, I hacked it."

"HACKED IT!" Radz spat incredulously. "That is far beyond your skill level, Invader!"

Skoodge smirked. "Believe what you want to believe. But first, let me tell you something...both you, and the Resisty, have been manipulated since the very beginning."

"WHAT!"

"Indeed, I have been controlling everything for quite some time. The Resisty and your destruction are but a small part of my overall plan."

Radz glared at the cocky Invader. "And what do you hope to achieve, shorty?"

Skoodge tutted. "Oh, and here I thought you were the smart one, Radz. Sorry, but I have no intention of revealing my plans. And as for the Resisty...well, their part in this game is almost complete."

"GAME!" Radz cried out through gritted teeth.

"Yes, everything that has happened here is but a game. A game of chess, of which I am one of the players. You, however, my 'Almighty Tallest' am but one of the pieces in the game."

"You BASTARD!" Radz slammed his fists hard on the console.

Skoodge chuckled as the image changed briefly to the Resisty ship vanishing once again, and then just as quickly Skoodge's smug visage returned. "The Resisty ship is now located directly at the centre of your oh so impressive flagship, 'My Tallest'."

"What do you hope to achieve with that!"

Skoodge grinned maliciously. "Why, I will use one of your own weapons to kill you. No, not kill...eliminate you from the game."

Radz stared, his face pale. "No...Y..You wouldn't..n...not that..not...not to us..."

Skoodge grinned wider. "OH, yes shall."

"At least...at least spare Pa'apps." Radz pleaded. "He's..he's not like me...he's...he's innocent...please...spare him...at least...please spare my brother..."

Skoodge sneered. "You two are not brothers. You just decided to become that way because it would ease your loneliness. Besides, after I reveal to the populace of your...ethical transgressions, your names shall go down in history as among our worst leaders in known history. Toodles." The screen went blank and Radz slumped to the ground, shell-shocked, and he turned to look at his adoptive brother one last time.

The Resisty were all panicking, not sure what was going on. Their instruments had stopped working, and they couldn't see a thing. Only the leader remained calm. Their screens turned on suddenly, and Skoodge's smirking face leered down at them.  
"What do you want, Irken?" The leader asked.

"Your part in this has played out beautifully, but now your part in this game must come to an end."

The leader glared. "What do you mean?"

"I trust you still have the package my assistant gave you?"

The leader narrowed his eyes. "You're Chessmaster? An Irken? Our enemy?"

"Not your enemy, but certainly not your friend." Skoodge chuckled. "Anyway, any second now, that package will activate, and kill you all, along with the remains of the Armada. So, enjoy your last few seconds as best you can." His image disappeared, leaving them in darkness.

The leader sighed and closed his eyes as his crew resumed panicking.

That was when the black hole bomb went off, creating a miniature black hole in the centre of the of the two ships and pulled them in from the inside out, until nothing was left, and then it collapsed on itself and disappeared, leaving no trace. Truly, an elegant disposal method.

Tak stared, staring uncomprehendingly. She...she was just shocked...

Did they really matter so little to the Tallests, the ones they had served and looked up to for so long?

Skoodge smirked, chuckling sardonically. His plan was well on its way to completion.

Soon, he will emerge the victor of this little game.

Not even Membrane would be able to counter him. Not this time.

_And so it continues._

_I hope that this has been a very exciting and interesting chapter, and I promise I will try and make future instalments even better._

_So yeah, I thought it would be interesting to say that the Tallests are brothers, though not in the traditional way due to the way Irkens are born. This makes sense, especially if you look at the way they act around each other and how the both look so alike. I hope you agree with this idea._

_And now I believe we have seen a small taste of the level of Magnificent Bastardry Skoodge can implement. Intriguing, isn't it?_

_Hope you enjoyed it, and please comment._


	4. Chapter 4

Not so Harmless

Chapter 4: The King is Crowned

Radz awoke in a dark, dingy place. There was no light, he could barely see anything. He turned and saw his brother, Pa'apps, held up in a weird harness, his arms raised high as if in celebration, however it was clear the Tallest was unconscious. Radz tried to move, but found that was in the same position as his brother.

Skoodge walked towards them, smirking cruelly.

"INVADER SKOODGE!"

"Ah, my dear Tallest Radz, a pleasure seeing you again." Skoodge bowed, a mocking smirk upon his lips.

"Enough with your games! Where are we!"

Skoodge sneered. "We are deep, deep underground, beneath the very surface of Irk. You see, I had managed to just barely save you and your brother from being devoured by a temporary black hole."

"WHY!" Radz spat, incredulous. "What was the point of going through all that if you weren't going to kill us!"

"Oh but I have, My Tallest, I have. The only ones who know you're down here are yourselves and I. Everyone else believes that you are dead, and that is good enough. With you gone, a new leader must step forward."

"Ah. And that's where you come in, right?"

"Precisely. You're a lot smarter than I gave you credit for, Radz. But, my plans would still come to pass if I HAD allowed you to die. And the reason I saved you wasn't out of some worthless sense of mercy, that's just not Irken. No, my reasons are much more personal."

Radz glared. "What do you mean?"

Skoodge grinned maliciously. "I have not forgotten how you all treated me. Especially the two of you. Think of this as payback for your awful treatment of myself."

He snapped his fingers and the restraints on Radz and Pa'apps' arms and legs started pulling, and the Tallests cried out in pain.

Skoodge grinned. "Now then, could you get any taller?" He laughed cruelly.

Skool was over for the day, and Dib walked home morosely. He looked up absently and saw that Chihuahua he saw around occasionally.

He sighed. It was weird. He should be happy that Zim is gone, but all he felt was empty. It was possible that Zim was the only thing that gave his life meaning. In the past, everyone would laugh at him and think he was crazy, and sometimes, on the darkest of lonely nights, he entertained the thought that maybe he was.

And then Zim came, and for once, his life had meaning, purpose. He had to beat Zim, save the world from his tyranny. And then, maybe, they would listen to him; maybe even no longer shun him.

And in a weird way, he saw Zim as his equal, like they were two sides of the same coin, somehow.

But with Zim gone, the battle over, there was no longer any purpose. Just the day to day monotony. He might feel better if he landed the final blow, but he didn't.

An explosion. Zim must have been developing some new weapon, or conducting an experiment, or maybe he just blew a gas line, and it literally blew up in his face.

Dib sighed. Oh well, he should stop worrying about it. Best not to dwell, just move on with his life.

There are other threats to Earth, he was sure.

Skoodge smirked up at Tak, from his seat on an ornate throne in the central plaza of Irk.

"Today is a big day, my dear, I hope you're ready."

"As always, Sir." Tak replied, her face serious and controlled.

Skoodge grinned inwardly. Thanks to his little gambit, Tak would now willingly serve him.

Still, best to keep her leash on tight, just in case.

He peered down at the assembled Irkens before him. Those who were off world were watching the proceedings via holographic projector screens.

He rose from his seat, his arms spread grandly. "My fellow Irkens! As you may be aware, our dear Tallests are gone, taken from us in a tragic battle for conquest. But have no fear, for a new leader shall be appointed, a better leader, one who will see that Operation Impending Doom II is a glorious, magnanimous success!"

"Shut up, Skoodge! Get down from there before the Tallests punish you for insubordination!"

Skoodge frowned. "The Tallests are dead. I know a great many of you are still loyal to their cause, their era, however that time is over. But fret not, for a new leader has stepped up to lead its people to glory and conquest."

"Oh yeah, who?"

Skoodge chuckled lightly, and spread his arms in a kindly gesture. "Why, my fellow Irkens, someone who studied the Tallests closely, knew the way thought and felt. Someone who understands the Irken way of life. Someone...who can lead you a little more adequately, taking into account your needs, desires, everything. Someone with the knowledge and the power to continue Operation Impending Doom 2 and perhaps even improve upon the original plan. I am, of course, referring to myself."

"You! Don't make me laugh! You couldn't lead a Bromulak, let alone an entire planet!"

"Yeah! If we do need a new leader, it wouldn't be you!"

"You're not even tall!"

And soon the rabble intensified, joined together in their collective disapproval.

Skoodge growled. "being short or tall does NOT determine who is superior. True leadership is determined by skills such as intelligence, ingenuity, the ability to make tough decisions quickly, and..."

And that's when the lugnut hit him.

Skoodge looked down at the offending projectile and then looked down at the crowd contemptuously. "Well, I guess I shall try a different kind of diplomacy."

He nodded to Tak, who gave a curt nod and performed a signal with her hand. The Irkens watched, not sure what was happening.

And then the Irken who threw the lugnut, and everyone around him in a 50metre radius, was set aflame. They screamed in agony as another shot hit them from somewhere, killing them.

Skoodge smirked arrogantly as the Irkens stared in shock at the smouldering pile of corpses. "That is the first lesson. I shall be more lenient in what I allow, and you will even have a greater many freedoms, but if you attempt to subvert my authority in any way, then your safety cannot be assured. Disobedience and unruly behaviour shall be punished by death."

He turned away and walked off, leaving them to ponder their fate.

"Well, all in all, I'd say this all went well."

The Order of the Swollen Eyeballs stood, their full inner council gathered together to discuss matters of great importance.

"Where's my coffee?"

"Number 16, we don't have time to worry about refreshments right now, something of grave importance has just occurred."

"What could be so important that my coffee has to wait?" Number 16 replied irritably.

"We have gotten word from a survivor of the Resisty's and Armada's mutual destruction."

"And?"

"The Tallests were killed during the course of the events. It would appear that the Resisty and the Armada were both betrayed and manipulated."

"Bye whom?"

"Skoodge."

Number 16 audibly gasped. "Wh-what! That...that traitorous weasel is still alive, after all these years!"

"Indeed." A new council member spoke. "It would appear that Number 1's assumptions were correct."

"So then...what shall we do?"

"We await Number 1's ruling. Then we try to agree upon our next course of action, and not a second sooner."

The other council members murmured in agreement.

Skoodge smirked arrogantly, holding up a 'king' chess piece. "I am now king, as was always my right."

Tak nodded. "So, sir, what shall we do now?"

"Now? My dear, now we deal with some important, unfinished business. My dear, pack your bags, we're going to Earth."

Dib sat in his room, alone, not caring about the world or its problems anymore, when suddenly his bed flipped over and he found himself falling down a rather large chute, landing with a thud in a strange, dark room. He looked around himself, finding it hard to make out anything, but he could barely register a large number of figures surrounding him.

"Greetings, operative Dib. We are the Inner Council of the Order of Swollen Eyeballs, currently known as the Swollen Eyeballs Network. It has been quite some time since you last reported with us."

Dib got up slowly. "Look...I can't do this right now...stuff has happened and...look, I'm just not in the mood right now, alright? Just...just take me back home...however you were able to take me...I just wanna lie down."

"And you call yourself a paranormal investigator!" A voice boomed around them. "And I thought you were dedicated, thought you were a part of our cause. What happened to searching for the truth!"

Dib glared. "Look, I don't know who you are, or why you sound so familiar, but I have had it, ok! I've had it with all this! All it has ever done is make me an outcast! I have no friends! Not even my own family likes, cause I'm too 'weird' or 'crazy'. The only person i could relate to was my archenemy, and he's dead now!"

Suddenly, the lights came on and Dib had to rub his eyes, and he could now clearly see that he was in a sterile, white room, standing on a table surrounded on all sides by thirty people. Above them was a large monitor covering most of the wall. On the screen, was someone very familiar.

"DAD!" Dib exclaimed, mouth agape.

"I realise you are shocked, and i have much to explain." Professor Membrane replied. "But we have important work to do, my son. Something you were born to do, the whole reason why we allowed you membership in the first place."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, now hold on. Dad, You're a member of the Swollen Eyeballs! You're the most sceptical person i know!"

"Not just a member son, I am one of the founders, though we had a much different purpose back then. And who better who ensure our secrecy then one who constantly denies the existence of anything beyond modern sciences understanding?"

Dib nodded slightly, eyes averted in thought. "Ok, point there, but seriously, why did you allow me to join? And why did you form the Network in the first place?"

"Time for that later," the boy's father said briskly, "right now, we have an urgent matter to attend. Our scanners have picked up a small invasion force, and I think I know why. We need you to work with us here, and ensure that humanity, or at least what little remains of it, does not come upon any danger."

"You expect us to stop an alien invasion?" Dib scoffed. "I could barely handle one, and you guys are a large organisation, why need me specifically?"

"That is...classified." The older man replied suspiciously. "However, I can tell you that you won't be alone. You will have the network's full cooperation, since it does concern us after all. And, we have one other trump card in our deck."

"What? What do we ahve that could possibly give us an edge?"

A new image appeared on the screen, Dib gasping, paling slightly.

It showed Zim floating in a tank, unconscious, looking slightly scarred but otherwise in good condition.

" We have," Membrane's voice boomed over the image, "Invader Zim."

_And here we go, the next chapter in our story._

_Originally, i ahd it written that Skoodge had revealed the Tallests' treachery to the populace, and a schism among the populace being formed, but I felt that just didn't sound right and so changed it into partially a ploy to gain Tak's loyalty. Do you think I made the right decision?_

_I wanted to resolve the Swollen eyeballs thing as well, mostly cause they were so under used. _

_And now zim is back. And what do you think of all the twists and turns being presented? Stay tuned for me_

_As always, hope you enjoyed it and please comment._


End file.
